Sludge
2007-10-15
Not alot of things going on,Fuck this pain
2007-10-11
Little bit of news
2007-07-26
Today I went to my neurosurgeon about my back. I have 7 disc herniated from T11 thru L5-S1.
He will not do surgery because there are some disc that are just small herniations inbetween the large herniations. Siad surgery would create a domino effect and the back would just fail. That is ok w me didn't want more fusion done. So I guess Ill have life long epidurals and PT. with pain meds. DDD will progressively get worse anyway. I do dread the epidurals so I hope he is not going to do 3 at one time. Medical bills are out of control. Injections are not cheap. Nor are medications. But I have endured a lot of painful crap, so life goes on.Money goes out.
I hope that epidurals and PT will take some of the pain away, so I can atleast function. Will wish for the best. I will see a orthopedic for my rt arm pain, had 4 wks therapy but my arm is really hurting. Next step is another doctor.
Hope all is well with all. Ive been down and out for a month with the pain. We will see how the food store will like all this stuff.
Take care all. God Bless
Mary
I won
2007-07-05
Hey you guys, Guess what I got a letter today that I I was awarded disabiity. I get backpay which will be put in my account by July 7th and a ceck monthly after that, I am so relieved, it will help us out a lot. Since my back is so bad, please pray I dont have to have another fusion on my low back, Im just not ready for that yet, Ill no more after July 19. God does here our pa]rayers.
Love to you all.
Mary
hodge podge
2007-07-01
Well I went to my nieces wedding Friday night, it was beautiful and sad also. Her mom and brother did not come to wedding or reception because of their believes, the 2 girsl are shunned so therefore they dont have anything to do with them, But my brother stepped up to the plate and gave her away, bought her flowers and sat with her at the reception. He dance the father daughter dance with both girls. I feel angry at their mom Betty and brother Jake. They went fishing. But the ones that were there for her had a great time.
Well I have been paying for it for 2 days now, I hardly can walk because of back pain so I have stayed basically in bed this weekend. I wish I had stronger meds. I am going to ask for them. I see the neurosurgeon July 19th. I was told the back surgery wont be as near as bad as the cervical spine surgery. lOL I think it is all bad.
My lawyer is taking care of my lawsuit against the store, he wanted pictures so we sent him alot of them. I just hope it will go well, I just want then to pay the bills, but my arm is not better at all after PT, so my doc will send me to a orth doc. Just a little worried about that.
And if I need back surg just too much to think about right now. I am still going after disability just filled out 2 sets of papers for them. Stuff I filled out in Jan.Except this time I had more things to add to it.I hope you all had a great weekend, I was thinking maybe MaryJo Wanna might help ne feel better. OH Yea.
How far would you go?
2007-06-25
Last week I had a MRI on my low back, secondary to extreme pain after fallig/at a store June 3rd. I sprained my rt shoulder and arm, and lt knee.In physical thereapy for my shoulder/arm .
My results of my MRI came back with herniated disc from th L1 to S2, every disc is bad, they al l have degenerative disc disease 5 lumbar and 3 Sacral disc. Also I have 2 perineural cyst on the L5 -S1 S2-S3 . I was referred back to my neurosurgeon, cant get in until July 19th. Im sure he will recommend the cyst to be taken off, but I dont know if he will do fusion on my back, too much disease going on. I haven't been able to sleep, all I think about is what if he suggest surgery, what will I do? After having the 4 disc in my neck fused in Sept, and I still not doing well with it, I just don't know. The problem is if my neck and low back are this bad, what will the thoracic spine look like, we've never done a MRI on it. WOW just too much ti think about, it is making me sick. My lawyer for a law suit against the store ia just taking this all in.He wants to know everything that is going on. My disability lawyer want to now it all too.
I have cried for a few days now, I am so depressed. They upped my hydrocodoine to 15mg every 3 hrs, along with this Fentanyl patch and Valium, I really haven't got much relieve for pain, but it sure makes me tired. Everyone has tried to cheer me up but Im too worried about what is going to happen now. Just scared I guess.
Well my meds are hitting me pretty hard now, barely can keep my eyes open, so I need to quit and rest.
more just stuff
2007-06-14
just stuff
2007-06-12
Wrnt for therapy again, this time for a sprained shoulder. I can hardly walk because my back hurts so bad. Therapy guy asks what is wrong. Told him my back had been out since fri. it started to bother me thurs nite and progresively got worse over the weekend, thought I could tough it out. He sent me to my primary doc, upstairs in the facilty. so now I have another med Valium to take for relaxation, and wants me to tell my pain intervention doc to give me something stronger than hydrocodone, okay. I have to have an MRI friday , to see what is going on, since I haven't had one since March 05.Now all this crap started when I fell at the grocery store a week ago Sunday. The main office called and we have talked several times, they have not offered to pay any bills yet. Should I get a lawyer? Im undecided. It was the stores fault. But my problem is that I have chronic pain secondary to neck fusion, neuropathy in my feet, history of herniated and buldging disc in back, and what will the insurance company say, that all these problems are preexisting and they have no obligation for any thing, right. But I fell because of a platform sticking out to far, sprained my arm/shoulder severly, left knee sprain and then my back pain started. I will be in therapy for 6 to 9 weeks, my insurance will only pay for 57 visits at 85%. Ah hah, what then. I sure cant afford to pay for PT at 500 or more a visit. Any suggestions my friends. My primary doctor said today if shoulder doesnot improve he will send me to ortho doctor, OMG no more surgery for me please. Um to much for me to deal with right now. I keep saying someone needs to shoot me and get this over with. My family keeps saying cha ching.I have no idea how this will affect my disability claim, ask my disability lawyer he doesnt seem to be worried.
Oh this is enough to make me drink, and Im not a drinker, time to start I think Of course I take enough pills to kill a horse, dosent do much for pain. So does anyone see my dilema?
I just dont know what to do. It is not in my christian believe to sue. I hope that the store will just be fair, guess I should wait and see.
Opps I've fallen and can't get up
2007-06-05
Yeh that is what happened to me on Sunday. Went to store by myself(a no no) just thought iI could do it without assistance, was doing ok until I thought I could pick up a watermelon,bad for me, too heavy. So picked one up turned to put it in my cart, it slipped, I moved to catch it,caught the end of a platform, and down I went watermelon and me, flat on my face. Melon went flying all over the place, I couldn't move, staff came over, some shoppers one a 84 year old woman and her daughter, I just laid there for about 10 min. and they helped me up slowly.The staff brought me a chair and water, ice for my left knee and rt shoulder, called my husband to come and get me, I was so embarresed, I just started crying(I knew my husband was going to be mad) then the manager came over. He wrote down what happened, and even pointed out that they stopped using pallets because people tripped on them, and obviously this platform wasn't a good idea either.Yo
2007-06-01
Today has been like every day the last 2 weeks the pain is increasing and the meds sre not working. I was hoping that I would get some relieve with the Effexor and Lyrica but so far not much improvement. My feet feel like they are broken when I try to walk and the brace I thing is useless. So here I am again going down slowly, feel like crap and depressed.
I just took a little break my friend called me and picked me up.We went to a drive inn and got a root beer,it is hot and muggy out tonight, tasted ok, but nice to get out for awhile. Nice to see my friend, we have been friends for 23 years, worked in the same office, across from each other. We had fun at work and outside of work. Went to the same church and voluntered together to do what ever they needed, was on the parish fellowship board for 2 years, own a childrens clothing store for 3 years called Sweethearts. WE had alot in common, most people thought we were sisters.
My husband and I have decided to sell my moms house and move mom and brothers and sisters with us. We put on a addition to house and we are going to finish it all. We have 3100 sq feet so we should all be comfortable here. We just cant afford to keep paying 2500 a month house payments, with me not working any more. It will help make our lives easier. WE will all take care of each other.
My Ambien is starting to work so it is time to sleep. Stay well.
hello
2007-05-27
Hi ya all. Have'nt posted for awhile just haven't been up to it, Pain has been verybad i my arm,hand and neck, to hard t be on computer. The brace for my ankle hasn't helped much, and I haven'r notice any difference using the Lyrica, although Im working up to 3xaday for total of 150mg a day, suppose to help neuropathy and fibromyalgia we will see.
So how has everyone doing. Have you had a nice holiday weekend yet? I haven't done too much. Went shopping all day on Friday, big mistake I paid for it on Sat and Sun. Just isn't worth it for me. :( Pain is just a bummer. Maybe I should get some wacky weed I heard that it would make me feel better,LOL, or just start drinking heavy stuff. :) So anyway some good news for me and my husband is that my brother wants to buy my moms house from us, that will make our life a little better, made a deal with him that mom and the kids stay there for at least 6 months no rent, so we can finish our house to move them in, we put a big addition on our house a few years ago, but ran out of money to finish it, this will be good, we wont be paying 2500.00 month in mortgage payments anymore, who knows how long it will take for disability to come thru. Atleast we can breath a little bit now.
Havent seen any cicadas yet, suppose to come out anytime now, people actually eat those ugly things. Ugh They showed people having cicada parties eating these things made me sick.
Keep on touch people, I get bored and lonely for my friends to write to me. Happy memprial day, remember our troops and the fallen soldiers that saved our freedom. Give a soldier a hug and thank them, it is only right to acknowledge them.
Mary
In shock
2007-05-13
Went to my moms for mothers day family starts arriving, about 25 of us at this point when my niece calls to wish grandma happy MD, then told her that her sister is getting married, not next year but this year, WOW. I am not sad Im happy for her Bree is graduating this next Sunday from high school, she is 18 will be 19 in Sept and her boyfriend is 20. Okay sit back I'll telll you a little story.
Bree & Vanna were raised as Jehova Witness. The only religion they know, as youngsters the 2 girls always told us( the family) that when they are 18 they are leaving home etc. So Vanna left straight out of high school 2 years ago. My sister-inlaw shunned her, accused her of all sort of junk, and basically called her a wh---.drug addict, etc. Told her never come to visit her,call,write and so on, literally disowning her, and my brother who is not a witness followed suit, in his words," rules are rules, she decided to leave and live her own life so be it" Okay the child is broken, said to me her mom is a cold hearted bitch, and her dad holds his balls in his hand, her words people, and if that is what they want that is what they will get, so when she dated she made it a point to not tell anyone, afraid it would get back to mom and dad and they would make things harder on Bree. They did find out, mom came right out and told her if you marry him, we will not attend your wedding, you are on your own, we don't want to be grand parents , so dondt expect any thing from us. I know you are saying right now, come on Mary they cant just forget they have a daughter, OH YES they can and they did.
Now to Bree, everything was good until Bree told her mom I don't want to go to the kingdom hall anymore, I just don't want to do this anymore. Mom drags her in front of the elders to confess( Ha) her sinful ways. Can you even imagine a bunch of older men telling a young person that they are bad, because they don't want to remain in thier "religion", and then telling them they will be disowned. What the f***? If you remember I had mentioned my minister always tells us that religion stinks, boy let me tell you Im truely pead off.
By the way their brother Jake got married 2 years ago, of course if was all good, because he married within the church, what ever. Now brother is not speaking to them, shuns them etc.
Well Bree moved out Oct last year, with a school friend. She was 18 at the time. The A bomb went off in the parents home. We(the family) all understood why, and we acceepted that it was coming sooner or later, thought she would finish high school first. Mom in the mean time bad mouthed her and Vanna, blamed it all on VAnna, is this unbelievable, reading this as Im typing looks like Im writting a story, its real. Im thinking how in the world can you turn your back on 2 lovely girls, your own flesh and blood? I know it happens alot, but when it is in your own family, it just blows your mind. Especially when it is my own brothers' kids, I don't get it. Bree will graduate next Sunday, oh by the way, parents are'nt coming to that either, no party etc, I'm reeaally getting madder as I type this Yikes. God help me keep a cival toung. so Bree and Armundo are getting married June 20th this year and if I live that long after I have my stroke, I plan on attending. This young man is perfect for Bree, polite, brought up in a very loving,caring,God loving family. There is no doubt that he will take care of her and respect her, he shows that quality in him with no pretense of how he feels about her, love, Bree shines when he is around, you know how ya felt with the knot, sickining,flush ,rush you get when his or her name is mentioned, the slight touch of hands etc, it shows with the 2 of them. Made me so happy and also old feeling, watching all my nieces and nephews growing up all around me. I told her and Vanna I'll be your surragot mom, you need anything call or come right over I will be there for them.
Okay this is the last of it, sorry people I have to get this off my chest, or I will not be held responsible for what I say or may do. Ok parents found out about the marriage coming, here is what her mom did. Calls Bree, Bree is in school can't answer the phone. Mom leaves message: You marry this man, you are not welcome in our home, do not call, write or be in our presence, we want nothing to do with you, we will not pay or attend any function that you should have from this point on. You are on your own and you are not my daughter, now if you should want to come back to the JW you can come back home,and we will work on forgetting all this happened. I would call her back and say F U Very Much. But Bree cried and so did Armundo, I feel so bad for them, I told them I'm sorry for my brothers actions or no actions and how your mom is. This is all brain washing, it is not religion, it certainly is not christian way of doing things(i know it happens alot in the name of religion beliefs) but this is bs,these are your own blood, you carried for 9 months, watch them grown into adult hood,told them you LOVE them and then you turn your back on them, as if they dont exist.
Excuse me, Im crying too much, this is heart breaking to us(the family) I will stand by these girls and help in what ever way possible, as God is my witness they will not be turned away by me or others. My moms heart broke today on MD, she can't believe that a parent can do this to thier children, my mom had 13 of us, we gave her a run for her money, she never turned her back on us, thank God, we have her for our mom.
thank you for letting me vent, love to all.
Mary
loser loser
2007-05-12
Damn these Chicago teams, sometimes I wonder why in the hell do they get paid so much to lose:LOL TheSox won today. GFT
Im a loser I can't win at bingo even. I really don't care that much, but it seems some people I know just have good luck, my friend wins at the casino alot, and she seems to always come out smiling like a rose no matter what she does. Me, well different story,I can't win a game against my 5 year old nephew, although we have to play by his rules. HAHA
I just seen that Tank got out of jail or getting out soon. And Paris may not even do anytime for her shananagins. Oh Gov please pardon me, I''ll be good, Yeah right, money talks, people walk. Now if that was you or me, we would lose our license, have to go to class, pay big fines, ya know the drill. The saying it may not be a good system, but its the best compared to timbucktwo. HUM YEP You said what? enough of that .
Well, keep a stiff upper lip everyone, better times are coming I heard that somewhere. When Im dead and bury I'll see my winning, The one that counts for all, Lord Jesus, but then who knows I might be a loser still and see that other dude. Yikes
Have a wonderful Mothers Day
FYI
2007-05-07
Met with a disability lawyer today, it looks good to get qualified on my next
try. He said the only reason they denied me was I was an office manager doing a sit down job and people who make the judgement only seen sit down job, even though they did admit I had alot of restrictions, so my lawyer will get all the recent info from allmy doctors and he said we might get lucky and wont have to go in front of judge, but if we do he will be there with me and help any questions they may ask, told go home relax let him do the work and be patient, he said remember they have to pay you from first day of unable to work.
So I feel alittle at ease. Wish me luck. Iam finally going to see a foot doctor agin, I have been putting it off because of everything else going on The pain is unbearable, I hope he can tell me he can do something.
You all have been so caring, better than my family, they dont even calll me, unless they need money. So I am mostly ticked off at them. Guess what Im not going all out for any of their problems, they can borrow money from someone else, besides Im tapped off from being off work for 9 months.
Stay safe everyone, getting some real crazy weather in the plains, and southern Ill is going to get some of this crazy stuff, It seems like we get it alot because I live on the Rt 80/55 border, so I watch what is going on. As you can see I hate storms, it makes me a nervous nelly. The friggen Bulls lost again,never the same since we lost Jordan.
Take care
Down and out
2007-05-04
Seems like everyone in our area is getting the flu and colds, well it is my turn, or
Im having a bad reaction to new meds, all I can really say I feel like someone took a sledge hammer to me, and I ve been nauseated for the last 3 days. My friend picked me up to go to the flower shop, and I had to go home, I felt bad that I had to excuse myself, her little grand daughter Katie, stayed with me. I had a bad dizzy spell and I started to go down in the parking lot, if it wasnt for Katie grapping me and yelling I would have hit that ground hard. These spells come on sudden and dont have time to get help, that is why I dont drive much anymore.
Starting to have more and more days like this, it starting to be worrisome. My biggest concern is ending up in a wheelchair We would have to move to a range home, we live in a rasised range, too many stairs. Mu meds arehitting me big time, gotta go.
Maru
.
Ugh denial
2007-05-01
Yep, got my disability denial today, course I knew I would, well I'm ready to fight, called a lawyer, have appointment on Mon. It took 4 months to get this far, probably take another 4 or 6 months. Thank goodness I got my profit sharing money to fall back on, we would have to file bankruptcy.
You know I have been in a real low funk since I started weaning off one depression med and started this new one, it seem like I'm nervous or listless. Very weird feeling. Actually I feel like punching something.
My dog and I went out this morn and stayed out just enjoying the beautiful weather. It got to hot, now Im in the house with the air on!!! I'm nuts. I don't do well with heat, rather it was in the 70s not high 80s. But I am glad it is warmer, was tired of cold damp stuff.
Catch ya later
monday mondy I hate that day
2007-04-30
Thought today I would feel better, taking some time to get use to new depression meds, you know weaning off one adding a nother one, It has taking me to a real funk, awful feeling.
And the neuopathy in my feet hurts to bad to walk on today, used the cane but I think I just need to stay off them altogether today, feels like I have broken bones in my feet, just a little pressure means alot of pain. It really sucks, it is a nice day out I just want to go outside and take a walk with my dog, no way in hell. Maybe I'll try to take the walker out, not good with using it. Oh general hospital is on. my favorite show, gotta go.
You say what
2007-04-27
Well im going down for the count, I had hydrocodone 10mg and 2 2,35mg of Ambien CR
should sleep ike a log tonight. I can barely keep my eyes open, so nighty niinght
Which way is up?
2007-04-27
Hi, I do believe that I can't figure out which way I'm going right now, I'm on a new antidepression med in combo with my old med and pain meds, I think I am bouncing from low to high. Not bad. Better to be happy than low. I had to go to a funeral today a friend of mine past away after fighing breast cancer for over three years, but she had a since of humor,she had her funeral all set up, sso she had alot of funny stuff in her sermon. We let 50 white balloons go after the service. It was nice ,we all laughed and said this is for you Marge we knew she was laughing too.
I feel like I need to go to sleep for awhile, my brain isn't functioning that well. But I'm babysitting my little newphew MOE who is 5 and he is hyper action kid. He is always looking for something to do and eat. He knows I keep candy in the house, and he doesn't stop until he finds it. All he wants to eat is cereal or chicken nuggets. Terroizes my dog. Wants to watch these crazy cartoons and play games on the computer.
Everyone have a good night.
yada yada yada
2007-04-24
Hey did you ever feel like doing something completly opposite of who you are or would ever do in normal state of mind? Like going white water rafting, Yes going down that river so fast that you can't breath from fear or just plain having a f------ blast!! Bunjie jumping OMG too high for me, looks llike fun, if you don't have a heart attack, when you jump. Flying in a experimental plane, hope it gets off the ground, or Gee I hope I can land this damn thing...What about storm chasing, looks interesting, until the fnnnnnn tornadooo comes right at you, get me the hell out of that...
All i'm saying never know what your missing until you take a chance, this all could be just what you need, for what ails you,LOL. Or just give me a few whiskey sours, a Vicodin or 2, some good rock music, and I'll watch Extreme sports on tv.
bad day all day
2007-04-23
I have been in pain for years, and today my neurologist told me what I suspected all along, that I have neuropathy, in both feet, and that it stems from my back, since no doctor will do any surgery on my back, secondary that it is too risky,we will try other modalities to see if it will help relieve some of the disabling pain I have now. At this point I barely can walk, so anything will be ok with me....
This Wed. I see a pyschiatrist for the first time for depression and medication management.
So begin the begin! It is going to be a long winding road from here on. I am a strong person and I can deal with alot of stuff, but I'm starting to break, I'm used to dealing with everything myself, but when you need help dressing,bathing,even cutting your food, myself doen't exist, it is us, together we will battle the problems. I hope my friends don't leave me, because I need them for fun times, even if I have to use assistance to get around, I still need fun times. My close friend loves to go on the boat, but I can't afford that, so I said lets go to a movie, I can get up an move around without bothering people. I want to see In the land of Women..
Does anyone know any good books to read? I like who did it books , like James Patterson and mystery novels. Good scarey ones too.
Later gator.
TIME IN YOUR LIFE
2007-04-21
bolts
2007-04-17
32 people dead
2007-04-16
What has happened in our society? Is nothing or anyone safe or valued? Do we have do go thru our lifetime worried about our children, love ones, friends becuase of madness? We worry about terrorism what about the frickin nuts in this country? Yeah what about it? It is impossible to protect all the schools,public transportation,fed buildings and on and on. We can't hold our childrens hands, keep a leash around them to protect them for all the bad crap out there. I always wonder what the children today will face in their futures, the stress today is hard, the stress years from now will be even harder.
All I can say my heart and prayers go out to the families and all those young people that witness all this. They need our support and love. Take a moment to think about them and pray for them. Pray for this country.
Yeah sunshine
2007-04-15
Finally sunshine, what a dfference it makes in your day. Or should I say in my half aday, since I didn't get up until 1:00pm. I found away to get some real sleep by accident, I had an allergy reaction late last night, I had already taken a hydrocodone but I had to take a Benadryl and thedays drag on and on
2007-04-12
April 12
I remember when I couldn't wait until the day would end, now that I don't work they really drag on and on. I try to sleep or just stay in bed late so the day would be gone. How dumb is that?
Life is too short to wish it away. No matter what stage Im in pain from this day on I am going to try to make changes in my life. I will find something that I like to do and I will try my best to do it. I like to do jigsaw puzzles, cross words,read ,andhave a great cup of coffee with a friend. So I will do what my psycologist ask and start thinking what I can do, not what I can't do.
My friend and I are going to join the Parish Fellowship Board at church in June, that will keep us busy. It will be start to get out of my house. I am also looking into voluntering at a clinic or somewhere that I can use my skills. I was an office manager for an ophthalmologist for 23 years, I can help in insurance, HIPPA, OSHA,credentialing,transcription,filing etc, seem terrible to let it all go to waste, if I can contribute something. That is what I need to do I have to feel like I'm still capable of making decisions and be independant, somewhat.
Depression has a way of thinking that you have no self worth, I need to work on this. Bringing me down big time I don't like this feeling, ya know I don't even know if the meds are working or not. Oh that is why they a re giving more antidepression meds LOL. Not because I'm goofy enough. Life is grand isn't it? If it dosn't break you first.
ER is on gotta go.
Depression and pain
2007-04-11
April 11
Today is the 5th day of extreme pain and depression, this is the worse I have had in awhile.
I usually run around 5 or 6 pain level but something has happened to make it 9 to 10. I very sure that I wont be getting up tomorrow because my back is out , I had an epidural a few weeks ago I was hoping that it would last for awhile, so might have to get another next week when I have my trigger point injections in my neck. My entire body hurts so I am dbl my pain meds, my doctor upped my Cymbalta to 90mg a day so maybe that will help.
It snowed lthis morining a lot of snow, It was pretty for awhile, suppose to have more tomorrow. one good thing it wont last long, cant wait until real spring gets here. Cant complain thoug, we didnt have much winter really. I need sunshine to get out of this crappy depression. I will be ok one minute and crying the next, so stupid. I never had this kind of stuff to deal with and I just dont like it at all. I was depressed when my father and sister died and very depressed when my best friend was killed in an auto accident. I came out of it faster than I am now. And I wasnt taking anything then, just cant understand it all, there are alot of peolpe that have more serious problems than I.
My 5 yr old nephew stayed with me tonight, boy he can keep you on your toes, he loves to play on the computer, but I have to help him with certain games, he just loves it. I get him off the computer and read to him and do teaching games with him, all he wants is someone to play with. I adore him, he just so cute and smart. Children are a blessing we should learn from them, laugh more and have fun.
I took 2 pain pills and sleeping pill and I think I might try to sleep, sometimes I just lay there and get back up and do reading or watch tv. To much pain so I think I wont win any sleep tonight.
Later gator
???###!!!
2007-04-10
YEAH THIS IS HOW IM DOING TODAY. I DONT THINK I HAVE HAD THIS MUCH PAIN FOR ALONG TIME. DONT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. MY DOCTOR TOLD ME TODAY THAT I AM JUST ONE OF THE 10% THAT END UP WORSE THAN BETTER AFTER SURGERY. SO HE UPED MY CYMBALTA TO 90 MG ADAY AND IS SENDING ME TO PSYCHIATRIST SO ALL MY DOCTORS CAN MANAGE MY PAIN CARE. I CAN SEE THEM PUTTING ME ON MORE MEDICATIONS FOR DEPRESSION ETC. ETC. I CAN HARDLY FUNCTION NOW WITH THE MEDS IM ON. OH AND TRIGGER POINT INJECTIONS MONTHLY ANDKEEP SEEING MY PSYCOLOGIST FOR PAIN MANEGMENT. I GUESS ITS OK IF I CAN ATLEAST GET SOME KIND OF RELIEVE. 
DONT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. I THINK IT IS AT THE SCHOOL. OH WELL ENOUGH OF THAT. YA KNOW THERE IS NOTHING ON TV AT NIGHT, SO I PLAY GAMES ON THE PUTER IF IM ABLE. SOMETIMES PAIN STOPS ME FROM DOING MUCH OF ANYTHING.feel like a sledgehammer hit me
2007-04-09
April 9, 07. I feel like I got myentire body hit by a sledgehammer for the last 2 days. I went to my moms for Easter and I couldn't enjoy it because of heavy duty pain, I took alot of pain medication to get relief, UH didn't hlep at all, so I went to my moms room and slept for awhile so I could drive home later. What a waste of a day, and today it is the same. Im down for the count now, all I want to do is take more medication and just get numb to feeling anything. But when I overdo it i get sick sick sick. Yhen the next day I am out in left field all day. Can't wait until next week to get my trigger point injections in my neck and shoulder. Maybe get my second epidural in my low back too, I need some relief ASAP
. sometimes I wish I could end it all just get out of my misery. All that would do is make everone else miserable. Or not. Hell life sucks and then you die. Dont know where Im going from here Im sort of out to lunch right now, took a few too many Nocors and Ambien Ill sleep like a rock tonight. Cant keep my eyes open, so it is time to sleep. catch ya on th e flip sidelPain in the neck
2007-04-05
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